Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
