I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
