Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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