It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
