Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
