Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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