they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
