Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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