you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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