SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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