I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
