Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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