Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
