I can tuck mytits in my pants
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
