Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
