when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
