I can tuck mytits in my pants
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
