its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
This is my gift to your gina
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
