It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
