Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
