I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
