no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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