i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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