Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
