Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
