She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
