you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We need to get me chipped asap
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
