Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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