do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
