Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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