Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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