in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
