if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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