did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize