I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
