Its about making memories worth repressing
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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