I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
