He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize