i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
