he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
