I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
