What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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