But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Randomize
