Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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