when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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