My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
