Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
