We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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