who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
