Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I wish i was in the wii world.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
