worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I supernannyed him into submission
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
