Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
