Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
