I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
