Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
