I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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