True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize