seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
