try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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