Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
