she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
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Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
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The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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