how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
