This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
