I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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