Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
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