THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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