Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize