This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.