People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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