Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You're like the curious george of whores
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?