I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
