You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
