God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
