why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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